Give Blood

[FullAuto]

What I like to imagine, as a nurse slides a needle the size of Excalibur into my arm, is a child receiving my blood.

 

This child is on a hospital bed, bald and dying. The doctor is shaking his head sadly, having used the extensive repertoire of skills and technology at his command, and fallen short. Blood transfusions will help, but the end, the end is inevitable. Of course, it's inevitable for all of us, but for most of us it's not that same week.

 

When my blood reaches this dying child's veins, he (or indeed she) sits up, shoves the doctor aside (he falls and breaks an arm, physician heal thyself), tears the chart prophesying doom in twain, and leaves the hospital. Not even using the doors, just smashing holes in the walls and striding through.

 

That image keeps me coming back for more. Despite the questionnaire ("Ever had sex with a horse for money?") which is embarrassingly (and necessarily) thorough, despite the needle that from my peripheral vision looks big enough to be an ICBM, despite the fact that the process actually sucks some of the very lifeblood from me, despite the fact my alcohol tolerance takes a nosedive, back I go.

 

It's not because I'm a nice person, because I'm not. It's because it makes me feel smug and superior.

 

Don't let the unknown intimidate you. Go and give blood if you can. The anaemia test is a cinch (will your blood sink in this solution? Like a depth charge!), it actually doesn't hurt that much, and the smirk will not come off your face for days afterward. Eat well beforehand and make sure you eat and drink straight after.

 

And don't get AIDS between donations. They sort of frown on that.

[Pete]

I did used to do this at least once a year as they used to do it right next to my old office. Nowadays I couldn't say where my nearest donation point is.

 

This is a feeble excuse.

 

I need to give blood again, even if mine probably does the opposite of what you imagine yours to do FA. My army of Mr Burns-like blood recipents will ineffectually flap at the door in an attempt to open it and fail, however they can be happy in the knowledge that they live

 

It doesn't hurt more than a fly bite and never for very long even then, you feel a bit drunk afterwards and you get a cup of tea and a biscuit in England - your local beverage and sugar replenishment device will likely vary. In Scotland I hear it's Iron Brew and a deep fried Mars bar (no seriously, that's two Scottish inventions right there and I know a couple of people who swore by both to remedy all ills).

[FullAuto]

Irn Bru is actually made from girders so it's exactly what you need to bump your iron levels.

[The Veteran]

I started donating blood when I was in the RAF as they actually used to come to base with the trucks every few months. Never missed one but once I left it became a lot harder to find somewhere. I still donate when I can but it's probably been about 7 months now since I last donated and since I have ful care of a toddler I just can't ever make the appointments. It's a real shame as I love to be able to make a little difference but unfortunately it's just not possible now without someone to look after my boy...

[NKF]

I give blood when I can, but am not always in a position to do so. At least a couple of times a year.

 

But I don't go through the whole process of filling forms, getting my finger stabbed for a blood sample and answering private questions just because it's the Right Thing To Do™ or even for that warm fuzzy feeling you get afterwards (probably from lack of blood) - I do it for a much more selfish reason.

 

I do it for the biscuits you get afterwards.

 

But if it helps people too then that's good too! Sometimes there are also the 'Be kind to me. I gave blood today' or other similarly phrased stickers.

 

Last donation, or perhaps the one before that, heard one of the staff talking of an occasion where a blood bag burst in the mobile blood collection bus, which was shortly followed by a worried first-time blood donor who'd just gathered some courage stepping on board. Forget the fear of needles - just imagine what effect blood dripping off the ceiling can have on a first timer!

 

- NKF

[Space Voyager]

I've been promising myself to give blood for years... I'm too lazy to go to Ljubljana and do so...

[The Veteran]

I love the 'My daddy gave blood today' stickers. Like the women don't already love a guy out with kids. You go out with a plaster on your arm, a short-sleeved top and a kiddy with that sticker and you're going home with some phone-numbers

[FullAuto]

Went with a friend once. After we'd both donated, he thought it would be an excellent idea to have burger, chips, and a couple of pints of Guinness at a local pub.

 

He didn't even finish the second pint before passing out.

 

Brilliant.

[The Veteran]

Wimp, it's only a pint lol (of blood that is!) Don't we have about 8 pints to start with? Last time I donated was in my lunch-break at the last job I had. Only just remembered it was that day but obviously had to get right back on with it straight after!

[FullAuto]

Nearly time to give blood again for me. I was handily reminded by a letter, and an envelope containing six "I gave blood once, I've done my bit" leaflets.

 

I have given blood six times over the past few years.

 

Someone at the NHS thinks they are funny.