FullAuto Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I wanted to see how far the industry had progressed, via the medium of cover artistry. Let's face it, you'd have to be a hero to rescue a gigantic Top Secret file: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gih.jpg "I've got something in my eye and it hurts!" https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/B00029P93W02_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg We don't appear to have progressed very far in the intervening years. Guns, explosions, etc. However, at least we're not quite so creepy any more: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/clowns_cartridge.jpg And that footballers should no longer exercise solely with their right leg (what quads!): https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kick-off_bubble_bus.jpg And maybe we've learned some other lessons. Like not to try too hard: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rivalturf.gif Not to be too odd: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/nesprincesstomato.jpg Not to knock up the cover art on our lunch break: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dow.jpg And finally, that the cover should maybe have something to do with the actual game. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/US_SNES_-_Phalanx.jpg Any other contenders? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Voyager Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I like salad kingdom... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 I want to know what cucumber-head is so unhappy about. He has arms and legs, a face, etc, which is more than most cucumbers have. Is he jealous of Princess Tomato hogging the limelight? Are the people of the kingdom actually chopped up to make salad in a sort of vegetable ethnic cleansing? And who the Hell is the one on the right? King Aubergine? Sega's conviction that the West is Asian-allergic really pays off when they feel the need to re-do all the artwork: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/tshootercover.jpg At last, we discover who ate all the pies: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bubbledsg1eq.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hahaha, these are excellent, if I find any, I'll be sure to post them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Step one of the Sega Success School plan? Make sure both the game's title and cover are exciting: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/U-031-S-00010-A.jpg Step two: Make sure cover models are breakdancers or epileptic. Preferably both: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/streetsofrage25ed.jpg Step three: Mahoosive gold keys and mullets must, repeat, MUST feature, and all religious references must be removed. If this makes a certain character look stupidly like he has his hands stuck together, so be it. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1047364559-00.jpg Step four: Bill Clinton must feature on at least one (1) sports game cover per year. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/9.jpg Step five: Don't worry about the competition. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/ninjagolf.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKF Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Ninja golf and a banjo player in the midst of a space battle. What profound combinations! As for the changed cover art in general - they're injustices, but I suppose someone has to give starving artists a helping hand. - NKF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KoMik Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 He got a gun, he's a broker, he likes hookers and gambling. "In the real world the good guys ralely win", what that supposed to do with that guy? AND why casino's security is holding his arm? No more bets? "Game over for you, looser!"? https://www.exotica.org.uk/gallery/games/images/c/Corruption.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 25, 2007 Author Share Posted November 25, 2007 You're part of the Pursuit Force, chasing a busty motorcyclist. How do you catch her? By jumping at her and shooting at her simultaneously, of course! While travelling at high speed! https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/pursuit2rh.jpg David Duchovny's Streetfighting. Not only do you get to punch people, you get to throw them through windows using only the power of your mind. Meanwhile, the drunk beneath the window cries. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/streetsmartcover.jpg No introduction could suffice. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/esh.jpg Obey health and safety laws when you use your bazooka. Wear goggles. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bazooka_bill.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted November 25, 2007 Share Posted November 25, 2007 https://ps2.ign.com/articles/776/776396p1.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 25, 2007 Author Share Posted November 25, 2007 Yup, that's where I nicked the Ninja Golf image from! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Voyager Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 NINJA GOLF?! https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b348/SpaceVoyager/Smiley/eek-blue.gifhttps://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b348/SpaceVoyager/Smiley/vomit-smiley-020.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 26, 2007 Author Share Posted November 26, 2007 The entirely un-ninjaish sword and the nunchuk hanging off the clubs really make it for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strong Bob Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 I used to own Ninja Golf. It was not bad for an Atari game. Played just like any golf game, except once you hit the ball, you had to battle frogs, ninjas and all kinds of crazy bad guys to get to wherever you hit the ball to. One thing is that you never actually get the ball into any hole. Once you make it to the green, you fight a dragon then ascend to the next level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Voyager Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 One thing is that you never actually get the ball into any hole. Once you make it to the green, you fight a dragon then ascend to the next level. Perhaps I'm oldfashioned but this is a WEIRD combination... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flark Posted January 11, 2008 Share Posted January 11, 2008 Phalanx and that Ninja Golf cracked me up. I'd never seen those two before. To be fair though some of my favourite games aren't exactly blessed with great cover art either. Enter Hulk Hogan, Ming the Merciless's new cocktail, and a jobs-worth looking woman with a clipboard. https://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/Flark/jaggedal.gif JA2 isn't much better either. What can I say? https://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/Flark/jaggeda2.jpg And how about one of our favourites Hammer & Sickle. Be honest would anyone have bought this game based on the cover art having not previously played Silent Storm? Does the Russian really have to appear quite so strange looking? https://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/Flark/hs.jpg All great games but sadly they're not exactly selling themselves with the cover art are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 Good ones! Is that the original JA2 cover art? Come to think of it, it is the only one I've ever seen, but I thought it was the budget release art? Forgot just how menacing H&S cover man is. Not someone you'd want to meet in a public toilet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 He reminds of a guy from Broken Sword. The man with the scar, forgot his name though. By the way, the front left guy on the "Soldiers of Fortune" cover art looks like someone had pummeled him in the head a lot when he was a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daredevil Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Oh I just couldn't resist. https://img72.imageshack.us/img72/6849/paczc6.jpg Did they even play this game when they made the box? I like the jogging attire, but the castle walls are a bit of a stretch. https://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3817/donkeyfj5.jpgSporty Mullet - checkSpandex costume for plummer? - checkThor's hammer - checkGrotesque monkey throwing beer kegs - checkdisclaimer that it's only based on the arcade game- checkThis game has it all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 Looks like the results of Thor (love the gold hammer, very 80s disco pimp), King Kong and Tron colliding. Good finds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Nobody noticed the stray fireball? I wonder who's firing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daredevil Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 Nobody noticed the stray fireball? I wonder who's firing it. Uh, Hello? It's obviously a Tron light cycle exploding. You'd think you never played Donkey Kong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted February 10, 2008 Author Share Posted February 10, 2008 Bad. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mm2.jpg Worse. What was this art actually for? Sim Smog? https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/ForbiddenPlanet.jpg Strange to think that not too long ago, the retarded were cruelly used as models for the cover art of games. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1MetrocrossA.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azrael Strife Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 I think I remember playing Metro Cross! :o The Megaman cover is just... ewww... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 You know... that right hand... doesn't... really look like... a gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matri Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 You know... that right hand... doesn't... really look like... a gun. That's a very big... finger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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