JellyfishGreen Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 I know none of you were expecting this, but I've managed to sneak out some pages from the script of "XCOM: The Musical" being staged by the USO. page 7Science Labs. ZOMBIE: Empirical data's your only man,when formulating a research plan.A soldier's death is never in vainif it makes the formula more plain.A few dozen make a better casefor refining that third decimal place.They call me Zombie because I don't sleep,as I slowly struggle to climb this heap,of corpses, data points, and trials,but from the top - I'll see for miles! BOMB BLOKE: Myself, I've been making craters.I'm sure the data will be handy later,I just love the bangs, from big to small,and have made a few holes in the wall.I've turned muton corpses into roastand I've browned this lovely piece of toast. ...page 20Armory.Quartermaster NKF addresses a half-dozen new recruits. NKF: Please observe: the humble pistol, Accurate as a guided missile,Snap shot before you can whistle.You'll be given nothing else in caseyou have to assault a floater base.Some say it's suicidal, true,but I did it once, so you can too! RECRUIT 1: What if we need some extra punch?NKF: Serve high explosives for their lunch.RECRUIT 2: What if supplies are running low?NKF: Club an alien, take his dough.Here's a Sectoid corpse I made. Turn it inside out - it's a grenade!RECRUIT 3: I'd prefer a laser, but I won't beg. Can you tell us how you lost your leg?NKF: Which reminds me, here's a tip: For Reapers, take an extra clip. ...page 32Battlefield, once a farmyard. Smoke billows and plasma flashes. Some Recruits are huddling under the Skyranger and FULLAUTO is coaxing them out. FULLAUTO: RECRUITS! Youse wanna live forever?RECRUIT 1: Sir, what a noble endeavor!Recruit 2: Sir, I can't fight! I've been shot in the arm!FULLAUTO: That never did ME any harm! I once came off second bestwith a sucking plasma wound in my chest.But did it stop me? Well, yes, for a bit.But the point is that I didn't quit.When I was rushed to medbay after the raidI was still clutching a live grenade.Gave the medics quite a startand took out the whole dinner cart. The point I'm beating into your headIs don't stop fighting just 'cos you're dead. ....page 47chorus line of MUTONS enter, with top hats, tails, and canes, singing as they surround TAMMY'S throne Xcom call us the green brutesbig intimidating mutesstrong and silent, half bionicbut we've a weakness for psionicsWe've got no brains inside these skintight suits we may be armored hunks of meatbut if you've a mind to move our feetyou'll find our hidden urge to danceC'mon Broadway, give us a chance!We'll beat a rhythm out with heavy boots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomb Bloke Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 ... Which straight away brings me to the question - who, or what, is USO? Are we going to be able to watch this being acted out?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimli Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 That's great. For some reason, when I was reading that, I was reading it like rap. And I'm not very fond of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Jellyfishgreen - you're a sick, sick man. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombie Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 JFG: The question becomes: "Why would sevicemen or women want to listen to an X-COM musical". Which straight away brings me to the question - who, or what, is USO?This should answer your question:Since before the United States entered World War II, the USO (United Service Organizations) has been a bridge between the American people and the U.S. military. In times of peace and war, the USO has consistently delivered its special brand of comfort, morale and recreational services to service members and their families. A nonprofit, congressionally chartered, private organization, the USO relies on the generosity of individuals, organizations and corporations to support USO activities. The USO is not part of the U.S. Government but is supported by the President of the United States and the Department of Defense. Each President has been the Honorary Chairman of the USO since its inception. The USO mission is to provide morale, welfare and recreation-type services to our men and women in uniform. The original intent of Congress-and enduring style of USO delivery-is to represent the American people by extending a touch of home to the military. Are we going to be able to watch this being acted out?!Man, I sure hope not. I'm not a very good singer! *cue voice actor to step in for Zombie* - Zombie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Genius. Sheer. Genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I'd pay to actually see this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azrael Strife Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stun Grenade Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Can I be one of the new recruits!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JellyfishGreen Posted January 20, 2006 Author Share Posted January 20, 2006 That's about where my creativity ran out... the floor is open for additions and auditions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetoris Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If someone could sing and star this I'd gladly put together a little flash for it. Hilarious! I can allready see it in front of me.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomb Bloke Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Weeeell I'd be quite happy to sing my part of the script. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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