The Movie Thread

[Azrael Strife]

[silencer_pl]

I've been on the Immortals yesterday - very good film - you must see it if you liked 300.

[FullAuto]

Will check out The Immortals, looks worth a try.

 

The Man From Nowhere. A nice action film from Korea. Fairly Leon-like in the protagonist/child set up, but otherwise does its own thing. Not a lot of shooting, more hand to hand, with some fancy bladework. The fights are well done, really enjoyed them and managed to forget about realism for the duration. Gets a bit gory in places. A genuinely touching story, too, sap that I am.

 

N.B. This film also taught me that in Korea, you must grow emo hair after suffering a personal tragedy.

[FullAuto]

The Bothersome Man, fairly entertaining Norwegian film about a chap stuck in some sort of modern Limbo, if not Hell. Doesn't do quite enough with the idea, but worth a watch.

 

The Thing remake is coming (don't bother trying to tell me it's a prequel, it's been tried). Now, I know it's going to be utter, utter shit, but what do I do?

 

It's only fair to see the film and confirm that it's bad, right? But I know it's going to be crap, and I don't want to give them any money. So should I just watch the original again at home? If you need confirmation, BTW, try this:

 

events overtake them when evidence of bloody events are discovered but none of those present seems hurt. The only conclusion to draw is that the discovery is taking over human bodies. Now no one knows who is real and who is monstrously possessed by a creature who seems indestructible.

 

That is the only possible conclusion, you're right, and not at all completely retarded. Synopsis taken from here, which is ground zero for stupid synopses (not to mention the synopsis, like virtually all of them these days, gives away the central plot, which is the main source of tension/mystery/suspense).

 

I mean, the film starts off and you're not supposed to know what's going on...so if you read a synopsis, it has given away almost the entire film. But the point is you're not supposed to know. The fact that you know renders the film, up until the characters find out, redundant.

[FullAuto]

Countdown to Zero. Just what you need at the end of a long day. Nuclear terrorism, nuclear proliferation, nuclear war. Nuclear weapons are still out there, and they are still aimed at targets probably near you.

[FullAuto]

Season of the Witch is shite. Don't watch it. No-one should ever watch it. It's not enjoyable. Drive Angry was enjoyable, this is mouldy gruel.

[Knan]

There seems to be a new Sherlock Holmes movie upcoming Soon from Guy Ritchie. Liked the previous one, and generally like his movies, so...

[Pete]

I was unfortunate enough to watch Knowing with Nic Cage in on TV the other night. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez that depressed the ever-living f*ck out of me.

 

Very good CGI, but there is no point to it, and the aliens are all blatantly paedophiles. No effort is made to establish why they're only taking the children (you can't use the excuse of adults messed up the planet, because it's not getting messed up because of anything we did for a change).

 

The warnings were pointless if they were just going to grab the kids anyway, and were particularly far-fecthed when he's sitting in traffic and works out what some of the numbers are and something then happens right where he is.

 

Aliens being able to see the future? That's fine. Aliens with enough intergalactic spaceships to actually do something about the problem and save the planet? That's just shit because they don't make an effort and they've had at least 50 years! If it was just Spielberg's ET for example with his one raggedy-ass family SUV-spaceship-mobile come to save a few people then I'd buy that, but their level of technology was pretty advanced.

 

Then the bit at the end - don't get me started!

They just ditch the kids on the new planet and blast off? What the heck? Who's going to tell them about the birds and the bees? Who's going to innoculate them against dieseases etc? Who's going to help them build some shelter? And so on and so on... They'd have done better just to leave it with the one spaceship blasting off.

 

 

I will never watch that film ever again. Too depressing, despite some of the most impressive CGI I've ever seen (puts 2012 to shame, which is another depressing and crap film, but at least it's entertaining if you have the first clue about earth sciences - as is The Core ).

[FullAuto]

I love you, Pete, and I bloody despise Knowing.

 

And I always will.

[Pete]

no, wait...

 

The missus liked it though, but not enough to watch it unless there's nothing else on, and certainly not enough to end our marriage.

 

We tend to veto certain things - I vetoed that, she vetoed Willow (arguably one of the finest films ever made and a bloody classic from my childhood that she just doesn't like ).

 

There are certain films I have to put up with occasionally - like The Core.

 

Fortunately when that comes on I can usually just leave the room but there are times where you find yourself weighing up whether you sit through a film or expend energy unnecessarily to get up off the sofa knowing full well that you'll just end up trawling the internet for photos of cats doing amusing things and such-like. On a couple of occasions I've just sat there and picked holes in it - it's not very difficult for anyone with a few brain cells.

 

Disaster movies have been done to death. Armageddon was probably my favourite (not that I'm particularly enamoured with the genre) because, despite the cheesiness and the flaws (Ben Affleck, Michael Bay... the approach to asteroid... errm, I won't list them all) it made up for it with the reliability of Bruce Willis, the watchability of Liv Tyler and the musical prowess of Aerosmith and that one soppy-ass song that kind of out-stayed its welcome but that you have to admit was a darned good tune.

 

Whilst I'm on disaster movies: Volcano - shite, 2012 - shite, Independence Day (spiffingly-stereotypical British pilots in one scene - we don't talk like that okay what-what?) - alright but seen it too many times, Dante's Peak - alright but full of people being annoyingly retarded.

 

Can't think of any more for now but I know there are more. The likes of The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake) is a bit different, but I can poke holes through some of the CGI at the end - those bugs chew through a stadium in 5 seconds flat and they're hiding under a bridge at ground zero and survive? Picky I know, but it's not good when I spot things like that the first time through. That and it's just not that memorable a film.

 

Why doesn't Hollywood make classics like The Three Amigos any more. Or Innerspace. Or Flight of the Navigator. Or Clue.

 

Bah

[FullAuto]

there are times where you find yourself weighing up whether you sit through a film or expend energy unnecessarily to get up off the sofa knowing full well that you'll just end up trawling the internet for photos of cats doing amusing things

 

LOL!

 

You missed a decent one, Deep Impact with Morgan Freeman as Obama.

 

Clue

 

Tim Curry Gold.

 

Warrior. Sentimental rubbish, two brothers competing in the same MMA tournament, guess what happens! Decent fights, that's it.

 

Colombiana. Seen it all before, nothing in the slightest bit innovative in the shootouts, fights, and other silliness. Bland.

[Sgt. Strike]

I kinda liked Season of the Witch, at least once to watch it. I don't know if I will watch it again anytime soon, but I may someday. It probably would be 10000000x better if Bruce Campbell was in it.

 

This may have been posted here before, but I had heard somewhere that the producers, etc. were going to make a few more Lost in Space movies, but since it didn't do well in the box office, that they didn't go on with it. They were even talking series.

 

This has me royally upset, and I will only, and I repeat only, rent the X-Men movies. They have screwed up the movies so badly that they have lost a fan for the movies. The X-Men First Class is shite. The original X-men were the following: Cyclops (Scott Summers), Marvel Girl (Jean Grey), Iceman (Bobby Drake), Beast (Hank McCoy), and Angel, later known as Archangel, (Warren Worthington III). Not the crap they keep screwing up all the time. Havok, or Alex Summers, is younger than Scott Summers.

[Azrael Strife]

All movies are, to some degree, re imaginings of the source material, when you go see a movie about a comic surely you already know you are absolutely not going to see something 100% faithful to the original, so what's the big deal?

I was aware the whole movie that it was not completely faithful to the comics, I knew that before even deciding going to watch it. Enjoyed it a lot nevertheless, I think it was a very nice superhero movie.

[FullAuto]

Long Weekend, the original. Never scary, but creepy and weird, with a very well-acted dysunctional marriage into the bargain. Worth a try.

[Pete]

You missed a decent one, Deep Impact with Morgan Freeman as Obama.

 

Can't take it seriously. Not because of Elijah Wood, which is reason enough, but it's the dodgy the porno title.

 

And the film's shite

 

 

Comic book adaptations of movies are always going to piss people off. I thought Spiderman was alright, the sequel was alright too but there are way more cheesy lines in it than the original, and the third one was just a jumbled mess that Sam Raimi had issues with the studio over (from what I read he did not want to try and shoehorn in so many bad guys).

 

No reason to reboot the franchise though.

 

Not as bad as rebooting HULK for what will be the third time now though From what I hear, the first one was pretty close to the source material in terms of his actual abilities, but I preferred the second one. Why keep changing actors though?

[FullAuto]

They can't seem to find someone who suits David Banner. They need someone who actually looks like an average bloke.

 

Taken from here is this lovely piece of explanation:

 

The song Kate is listening to on her headphones is "Who Can It Be Now?", by Men at Work from their album, "Business as Usual". The lyrics tell of a paranoid man who hears knocking at his house door and wishes to be left in solitude. This foreshadows the paranoia of the scientists later in the film.

 

I love how we need this explained to us (not just what song it is, but what the lyrics are about, and what it foreshadows), and in case you didn't notice, the film's shite. Lovely little details like this (which we're perfectly capable of picking up on, thanks a lot) don't matter if your film is crap.

[Azrael Strife]

Finally!!!!!!!

 

 

:( :(

[FullAuto]

Please be good.

[Space Voyager]

I'll be good to you, FA.

 

 

This. Looks. GOOD.

[FullAuto]

I'll be good to you, FA.

 

That's quite enough of that kind of filth, thank you! Whatever would Baby Jesus think.

 

If you are terminally stupid, there is a trailer breakdown here. It may be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen.

[Pete]

I don't need a breakdowqn - after two watches I saw the same cool derelict spaceship (that now appears to work???) and the same big dead alien space jockey with his big gun from the original Alien.

 

I'm happy.

 

This is Alien but not, and I'm wondering if maybe since there seems to be some sort of mutation, is this where the aliens we all know and love come from? A weird mutation of human and alien DNA? Shit story if I'm right and guessed the ending already

 

Haha, just reading that breakdown now. Thanks for telling me what an ampule is - I'd never have known otherwise . That was a pretty retarded breakdown. Come on Empire, raise the bar slightly.

[FullAuto]

Kill List. Only just watched this, so I'm not going to race to a verdict because it deserves some thought, but definitely, 100% worth seeing. Does none of the work for you, hands you no answers on a plate, and intertwines drama, crime and horror into something unusual and new. A difficult film to like, but compelling.

 

A Lonely Place to Die. Humdrum situation, characters, acting, action, etc. The best thing about it is the Scottish Highlands setting. We have seen everything else here dozens of times before. Give it a rest.

[FullAuto]

Contagion. Actually not bad at all. A cold, clinical look at an epidemic from beginning to end, with the disease playing no favourites to help the narrative. Worth watching, with some good performances and a lack of melodrama.

 

Super 8. It's okay, but it attempts to evoke iconic films and in emulating them, falls under their shadow. It's not as good as stuff like Stand By Me, The Goonies, ET, etc, and as deeply derivative of Spielberg as it is you can't judge it on its own merits, you constantly think of it in comparison to those other films Abrams loves so much. The dialogue just doesn't sound right, instead of kids it sounds like words written by adults trying to sound like kids, which is what it is.

 

Total Recall. A piece of subversive sci-fi genius, based very loosely on a Dick story, which is surprisingly ahead of its time. 100% worth it for the film alone, but made 200% better by Arnie's commentary track, for which he was paid a ridiculous amount.

 

When the TR commentary starts, it's over the opening credits, including the companies? One of which is Tristar, with the pegasus, and Arnie goes "Vell, zis is me, Ahnult Schwatznegger, und zis is also me running tovards ze screen."

 

Pant-wettingly good.

[FullAuto]

Another Earth. Really enjoyed this, up there with films like The Man From Earth and Never Let Me Go, a thoughtful sci-fi film with little to no special effects, good acting, a story that took longer than five minutes to think of, dialogue that isn't riddled with cliches. The anti-Transformers.

 

A particularly haunting piece of the soundtrack can be heard here.

 

Now how the Hell do you get such beautiful music out of a...saw?

 

And this is the lady who played it:

 

[Space Voyager]

Marked for watching! Thank you for these mini reviews, FA. Enough to spark interest, not enough to tell the story.