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Ivory

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I am indeed a crack commando sent to prison because of a crime I didn't commit. I escaped am now on the run with my group of completely insane comrades (whether the lot of them think they're insane or not is another story), and flipping military surplus Jeeps is by far my favourite hobby.

 

But I did have a big bump on my head, so I'm not sure if we're the A-team of the Q-Team...

 

The subequent collection of blood, bones, flesh, sinew and green wobbly bits will have envisioned a world of peace brought about by a brisk and envigorating game of marbles.

 

- NKF

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I pity the fool.

Besides, if anyone's finding Ivory I am. I'm moderating this goddamn board, and it's going to thrive under my care. Ivory is an essential ingredient, as far as I'm concerned seeing as she generated about 500 replies and 3,000 views with her topics.

 

The next poster volunteers to send up a flare if Ivory is spotted.

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I will jet my urine high into the night sky, where it will shine like a beacon of hope for all those who seek the lost, and all those who lost the Seek. :(

 

No. :( This monkey will toss feces high into the night sky, where it will turn and tumble, a minute but powerfully stench-ridden log of pure joy, joy upon having found the Lost. Joy! :(;):)

 

The person who posts after me will be mightily disgusted by the preceeding :( , but strangely compelled by the image of a lazily flipping monkey turd. :(

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That's me! One can't help wondering about the poor chap...

 

I have slaughtered Sweety the Chick and examined it's liver. The next poster has hacked into the International Space Station's computers in an attempt to use its solar panels to send morse messages to Ivory. And his prediction will be based on examinimg the entrails of Crazy Frog.

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Well, yes!!! So if you experience some trouble with your telephones today, that's no sunflare, but me :lol:

 

By Crazy Frogs bladder (nice idea, Accounting Troll, i think i love you for it) i can tell you that the next poster is actually someone who knows where we can reach Ivory.

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*puffs contentedly*

 

::

 

Examining my tea leaves, I see that I have tea leaves in a cup. Why was I staring at them?

 

I have dismantled a rutabaga and examined its entrails. They tell me things, but I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this...

 

I have killed a goat. Oops.

 

There's some lettuce near me, and it's telling me that the next poster ALSO tired of Starcraft when they found that it was really dang hard, especially for those of us without any type of strategic awareness.

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Yer but no but, i was snoggin Darren Russel behind the grassy knoll and he said i was a crap kisser but i saw his nob and it was well tiny so he dont know nothin!

 

Next poster dosen't have a clue what I'm on about!

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A,soz man u can have this back now......

 

The next poster will walk around doing bad impressions from Little Britain, such as "I don't like it" "Yeah but no but yeah but" (see above) "I'm the only gai in the village "The computer says no" and my fave "Yeeeaaass"

 

;)

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I've never been attacked by a monitor yet, but you can't be too careful.

 

I have consulted the Delphic Oracle who assured me that the next contributer to this topic will foolishly believe that the future isn't actually revealed in auguaries. He then starts a comparison of Greek and Hittite methods of divinig the future.

 

Those delphic oracles are always smoking something...

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Is the universe deterministic and as a result predictable? Are we only 3D clowns in a 11D cosmos ? Are diamonds forever? Do black holes really evaporate ? IS Tammy = Ivory = Slaughter in disguise ?

 

I don't think so :lol:

 

The old greeks did, they went to "Oracles" which basically were priests drugged by poisonous steams of vulcanic-heated water-sources. (Saw a film about that recently). The Hittite had a completely different culture. Their capital, BoGazköy (yep, strange name) was a centre of worshipping for lots of different gods, even the gods of the lands they conquered had their temples there. One would have seen many different "prophecy" rituals in that land. The modern armenians and turks are their descendants (sp?)...

 

 

Oh wait you don't want to know that, do you ? ;)

 

Ok, asking the "Demon of Laplace" (a fictivious creature that knows everything: past, present and future) i can say that the next poster will be not the last poster in this thread :lol:

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I'm terribly tempted to close this thread just so you would be wrong... I bet you even know who the Sea Peoples were ;)

 

I have made a call centre employee lie on a bed of nails so he could meditate on the wonders of life before I got an elephant to step on him. Don't worry, the elephant wasn't hurt by the nails. Your prediction will be proved right by Ivory who will return here once more.

 

Well, you never know.

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Yes, it's me, Ivory! :( Not!

 

After the Demon of Laplace ruined me by eating everything in the kitchen and the storage room and saying that "the meal of the prophecy had to be fullfilled" i threw him out of my house :lol: That impostor!

 

Sea people ? Never heard of them... ;)

 

But seeing through the fogs of mythical ages that are to be :) i predict that the next poster will be a mastercook!

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I am indeed a master cook - as long as you confine the food to instant noodles, I'm in my element.

 

What comes will come, and what comes is a person that has three things on their mind. A joke, a worry and a thought.

 

- NKF

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Two lads of a class of 34 are finishing off a maths text. A lad named Charlie the Great the Third struggles with the last question, although he did do extremely well beforehand. The lad next to Charlie the Great the Third, named Petand Shurggles was panting like a dog. He copied all of Charlie's answers and Petand finally reached the last question. Charlie handed his paper up, and shortly later, Petand did too.

A day later the teacher called both boys up.

"Charlie, it seems you wrote for the last question, 'I don't know the answer'," said the teacher, named Zego-Wego Smith.

He continued, "and what you wrote Petand is very unusual.. I don't know either."

 

THE END

 

 

Now my only worry is that Photon is mad at me... sorry bud about no question lol...

 

and I have one thought on my mind... when will my bruised finger get better from volleyball today.

 

I predict that the next person is good at these things:

1)Golf

2)Volleyball

3)Coding PHP whilst reciting HTML poems

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