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Love Nest For Tammy And Co


Ego Terrorist

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:D

 

Uh, I thunk my breakfast is coming up. Bye, gotta go.

 

*Runs of to the WC*

 

~6 minutes later~

 

*walks out of the WC*

 

I think someone should call the plumbers, the toilet's clogged. And a note to myself, do not eat tuna with tomato slices and hell hot chilli dogs with raw liver slices.

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It better is, because that Aralez-lookalike-doll (the one you thought was me) made entirely of Lasagne did cost me a fortune. *hides in a transdimensional hideout and swallows the key* :D

 

https://www.smiliegenerator.de/s31/smilies-20142.png

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:) That meal makes me queesy, but it still sounds better than what they are serving here in Iraq half of the time. :)

 

You think raw liver is good, that liver is from a human. I need it to keep down my blood presure.

 

*Scratches his finger and the blood spurts out and squishes a fly against the wall*

 

Like I said, my blood presure is like a gas propelled bullet.

 

It better is, because that Aralez-lookalike-doll (the one you thought was me) made entirely of Lasagne did cost me a fortune. *hides in a transdimensional hideout and swallows the key* :D

 

https://www.smiliegenerator.de/s31/smilies-20142.png

 

:)

 

Thank you very much. Now I need to callibrate my teleportation remote.

 

*Starts calibrating*

 

Maybe a it will take only couple of hours or five eons. (8000 years per eon {I think) Now don't disturb me.

 

https://www.smiliegenerator.de/s31/smilies-20156.png

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*Notes musty smell with a hint of decomposing Krab in the air after the departure of Aralez.*

 

One of the problems with teleporting somewhere is the matter in the volume of space you teleport in to. In order to avoid an extrememly painful accident, you have to swap the position of yourself and the matter in the area you are teleporting into. By analysing the area where Aralez was, we can deduce his present location.

 

*Goes to DC's intensive interrogation rooms, and heads for the medieval tortue device called an iron maiden in the corner.*

 

Are you quite comfortable in there, Aralez? Do you feel like renouncing your heresy yet, or shall I see what this little wheel does?

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Nice try, but I keep all my important information on a Psion Organiser II. There is no possible way of hacking it. The machine you foolishly tried to hack into has an automatic tracer (written in OPL, the only programming language devised by a troll) on any remote access attempts. The trace led back to the Iron Maiden, further proving the heretic nature of the helpless victim it now holds.

 

It was misguided of you to buy the batteries for your transporter device from a company owned and controlled by myself. You are now utterly trapped in an Iron Maiden for all eternity, with absolutely no chance of escape and entirely at the mercy of myself and DC, who is even nastier than me :D Regurgitating the key will not help you, as I am afraid the lock is one of my devising, with advice from DC, the Church and the Imperial Guard.

 

You have only one hope of survival: throw yourself on the Bessed Tammy's mercy and convince her that you are worthy of the gift of continued existence in Her presence. Since you have revealed that you are Her father, an important first step woul be to provide Her with all those birthday, Christmas and Thanksgiving presents you have cruelly failed to provide for Her with during her whole life. Perhaps a nice long stretch on the rack (I'm determined to keep using this pun until I get a LOL out of somebody, preferably Tammy, and a hug would not be amiss) will remind you of your parental responsibilities...

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*sits in his pimped and modified Iron Maiden, enjoys a longdrink, sitting at the swimmingpool with some playboy bunnies. Puts his cigar aside for a moment: Fatherly duties, me? ... continues to smoke his cigar and smiles.* :D

 

https://www.smiliegenerator.de/s31/smilies-20325.png

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:D

 

Okay, calibrated the remote. But I see that Aralez is already caputred and having hallucinations. This iron maiden is modifed such way that it can't be made larger or biger, so what Aralez is seeing is an hallucination.

 

*Opens a cabinet with lot's of full syringes inside*

 

During that toxic waste spill in Tamriel I analysed the waste and found that it contained most of the deadlies viruses, with my Bio-Tech Computer™ I was able to separate all the viruses and put them into these syringes. A worthy collection and good tools for torture.

 

*Opens an txt document in his Bio-Tech Computer™*

 

Syptoms of syringe #43

 

Fever, headache, vomiting, confusion, drowsiness, photophobia, weakness, seizures, stiffness of the neck, stiffness of the limbs, slowness in movement and clumsiness, swelling, small bleedings and cell death. (Body cells die)

 

Commonly named rabbies.

 

I can make the virus only attack Aralez, it only takes 30 seconds with this computer.

 

*Inserts the syringe into the computer modifier*

 

~30 seconds later~

 

Well, it's ready. Who would like to do the honors ofinjecting this into Aralez?

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Yay! A royal hug! :D

 

Aralez, those rabbits you are with have been genetically engineered to prefer to eat meat, preferably that of cats.

 

I'm off to fortify the bridge. Halloween is coming up, so I need to be ready to repel those tribes of feral children who take the opportunity to demand money with menaces by saying "Trick or Treat".

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Take this, maybe it will help you.

 

*Gives AT a man sized box*

 

I just got it for African research labs. It's a sentry, with the ability to mimick any appearance. I modifed it, so that it would use OPL programming language.

 

I has a lot of lethal & non-lethal defence, offence weapons. To be sure that no one would hack it, I've added a ant-hack program writen in OPL. Have fun.

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Fever, headache, vomiting, confusion, drowsiness, photophobia, weakness, seizures, stiffness of the neck, stiffness of the limbs, slowness in movement and clumsiness, swelling, small bleedings and cell death. (Body cells die)

 

Hmm, that's how i feel each morning since i can remember, no harm done :D

 

*pinches himself to prove that everything around him is real and throws some rabbits on his BBQ*

 

https://www.smiliegenerator.de/s31/smilies-20644.png

 

 

*secretly looks at a small photo of Tammy and sighs* :)

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Hey, heretics aren't allowed to have a BBQ. It's US Army field rations for you until you repent. We've got a fresh batch in - I got it cheap because it's army surplus from the Spanish-American War.

 

And no pictures of Tammy either. If it's female companionship you want, I know a nice Wargot girl who has been rather lonely since she ate her last boyfriend.

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Hey don't worry Aralez. Those Army field rations are awesome man. Well, I can't say much for the Spanish-American ones. But hey at least you know that if he were to give you some recent ones, they'd be good, especially the Chicken Cavatelli. It is kinda like Chicken Parmesan. UUmmm now I'm hungry.

 

*Yells across the office "Hey Sergeant go get me an M.R.E and make sure you draw a Chicken Cavetelli."

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