Kernel Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 * Sound of saw's hammers and drills can be heard for a few minutes ** Sound stops ** Kernel walks in wearing a hard hat carrying a small box with a button on it * Ok there we go. One press of this button and this room becomes a non-teleport zone. We don't want enemy troops teleporting in here and kidnapping Tammy now do we. * Presses button * Now anyone trying teleport into here will have their atoms scatterd across the entire country.Now to store this remote in a secure place. * Places the remote into his mouth and swallows * There we go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Hey Kernel, can you boil an egg on that thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 Oh and one more thing, AT. Please reduce taxes by 50%, because on my callulations that would make Tamriel go to Golden Age, meaning that there will be more money comming in. Somewhere 50 000$ each week. Hmm, the economic boom that would create would treble national income, so I end up even better off. And I get more popularity with the voters in an election year. Kernel, you really shouldn't have gone for the cheap batteries as they don't last any time at all. And they leak, thus giving you a bout of indigestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorondor Posted July 21, 2006 Share Posted July 21, 2006 "Kernel, you really shouldn't have gone for the cheap batteries as they don't last any time at all. And they leak, thus giving you a bout of indigestion." Which is why uriaheep isn't going to be getting a reply to his "pop quiz, hot shot" in a hurry... :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Hi everybody!!! Looks like my summer break--you know, the one that was supposed to be some actual time off--turned into a whirlwind of remodeling, redecorating and a couple of weekend trips. Not only that, but I'm teaching a whole new slate of courses instead of my usual English and literature (genetics, forensics, chemistry, and anatomy), so I'm trying to get prepared for that. (Yes, I'm certified, but it's been a long time!) This has been an announcement from the Queen. We now return you to our regularly scheduled silliness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 Put your feet up Majesty, you've earned it. Here I'll pull up a slave to rest your tea and biscuits on. Would you like someone excomunicated or something, I'm sure AT could find someone to pull the arms off for your amusment. Or would you just like to sleep. I am at your command. *Leave chamber backwards fawning all the way* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 *catches Uriaheep just in time* You nearly walked backwards into the scorpion pit old chap. Not that there's much room in there after that protest against the tax increase for the new throne. It is my ambition that one day the imperial throne will be made of solid gold, with a comfortable cushion of course, as opposed to the current monstrosity. A plastic chair covered in the gold foil from some chocolate bars just isn't the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 It is my ambition that one day the imperial throne will be made of solid gold, with a comfortable cushion of course, You mean like the one in your bridge toll booth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted July 25, 2006 Share Posted July 25, 2006 I'll double the Imperial Guard's budget if you promise not to go investigating my bridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomb Bloke Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Hey, I spent ages eating those chocolate bars! ... Now, why does that fail to make me sound like a hard worker...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Thank's AT, here's a Bishops Hat. I dub you .... er..... Bishop of ..er ... that uninabited part of Tamriel where your bridge is. Has the place got a name? So I'm guessing that the gold leaf covering of the royal barge is chocolate wrappers too? Your Majesty, best not go boating today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Just as well. I would have to take along a chemistry book or something. On the other hand, we could just take along some extra chocolate bars in case any of the gold foil needs to be replaced..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 What an imperial idea Highness, cocoa poisoning anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I've been thinking - the brutal torture and execution of people who are misguided enough to reject the divinity of Tammy is totally wrong. We coiuld make a fortune selling their internal organs on the black market, as long as the surgeons get a reasonably intact body to harvest. Ideally, it should still be living to ensure maximum freshness of the harvested organs. Maybe we could even make enough for some gold coloured spray paint for the Imperial Barge As I am a traditionalist, I feel that the propulsive system of the Royal Barge should be a large number of galley slaves (ever see Ben Hur?). I'd love to be the one who breaks the news that Her Imperial Majesty wants to go water skiing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumb_Commander Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Gold coloured spray paint... don't make me laugh! I can easily give you enough gold for the construction of the golden throne! Here! *Calls couple of truck which are loaded with gold. They unload the gold right in front of AT" Oh and one more thing, I want the organ donors skeleton, If he dies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Organ donors generally do, I'm told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Mmm, not sure about that - Locally, I know of at least two brain donors that are still fairly animated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 I think the entire British cabinet meets that description. And half of the Civil Service. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 True, I rekon that if all their good ideas were minced up and used as renewable fuel, there wouldn't be enough power to light the 'on' LED on my PC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hmmm.....okay, you have a point there. I think I worked for a heart donor once, come to think of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ego Terrorist Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 Organ harvesting...ahem. Donation... combined with the Troll's galley of slaves... Renewable resources! On a side note, I shall be buggering off on holiday for three weeks, and thus I will not be lurking in the background ensuring that... uhhh... ensuring that... there is no deviation from the... uh... erm... regular devotion to Tammy... yes... as the desicive and uh... cunning... and er... eloquent... Leader of the We Love Tammy Fan Club. Which reminds me... I must post in the UFO Fanfic before I bugger off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Organ harvesting...ahem. Donation... combined with the Troll's galley of slaves... Renewable resources! Don't you mean the seemingly endless supply of krabs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Considering what oil prices are like these days, galley slaves are much more economic than a diesel engine. Unfortunatly, Matri ate all the Krabs, but at least we have plenty of dissidents after I put the income tax rate up to 200%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Good Troll, with the usual cut, er I mean donation for the church I assume? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I wouldn't dream of cheating the Church out of its tithes. Maybe you would also like the state treasury to fund a larger collection plate? How about a couple of trolls to encourage the proper level of donations during services? BTW, you might like to invent a few extra sins. That way, the people of Tamriel will make some extra 'donations' for absolution for their sins. The medieval church made a fortune out of that racket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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