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Love Nest For Tammy And Co


Ego Terrorist

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"Errm... *consumes carrot* What's up, bub ?"

 

*placidly observes as AT tries to immobilise a sufferably lifelike puppet next to a concerned-looking traveller*

 

::

 

"Say, uh, bub - you wouldn't happen to need a spike, now, would ya ?" *munches on*

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You guys are all insane :eh: I leave you for a few hours and come back to find Thorondor's severed, but still living, head shoved on a wooden leg that has been planted in a traffic cone, and now Damien Hurst is suing us for copying one of his ideas. The danger of shrapnel injuries from exploding backsides has caused the sturdy and overtaxed citizens of Tamriel to resort to wearing helmets, body armour and environmental suits. And instead of getting hugs off Tammy, the head of our Imperial Guard is being forced to share a bed with Mick Jagger :thinking:

 

I hope you all realise that this chaos is the inevitable result of letting a billygoat into Tamriel :eh:

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*Takes out a double barelled combat shotgun*

 

Uriaheep get in here before i shove a dynamite into your mout or the place where the blue pill is shoved in, and Veteran, STOP EATING THAT PIE.

 

*Shots the the pie to shreds*

 

If i see you eating that pie again, you will not wake up in your traditional home, you will wake up in my laboratory where I'am gonna test some chemicals and toxins on you. Now for the main business, where's that billygoat I need a test subject for my Hybrid project.

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Oh my word... Now you've gone and done it... You just couldn't leave the pie alone could you!!! :thinking: Your antics are all very well confined to your dungeon, but you do not go hassling the nice people! Leave Uria alone and let me eat my pie in peace! Or pieces as the case may now be... :eh:

 

And one more thing. Come near me with those toxins and you'll get more than a blue pill I assure you. The only reason I'm selling two of my swords is because I just bought another 7 new ones... Don't get any clever ideas with that shotgun either, I'm too fast for you and you know it! :eh:

 

Now I'm going to get back to my food and pretend this little incident never happened... Kapish? :P

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Kapish? * :eh: * :thinking::P:eh: .... sorry, but that rather amusing, trying to look like a itallian mobster... *Cellphone ringing* Wait a little.

 

~some minutes later~

 

I was just informed that i won the galaxy lottery, the prize is 60 millions, basicly my funding was revitalised, one thing tough, here AT. *Gives AT 30 million dollars*

 

As for other 30 million dollars... I've decided to make my own corporation, If I'am lucky, Tamriel will be reciving somewhere 2-3 millions a month.

 

Now back to you. *DC takes out an arsenal of very sharp swords and starts to jab, slash, and other types of killing moves on himself, but everytime the swords break*

 

You see, I'am partly i scientist, some years ago i created a special mix that made me, virtualy undistructable, so even if you shove that pill into me you would meet no results, oh and dont try to poison me or something like that, the Herxes mix made its job very well so even if you pump me full of neurotoxins, that would not work.

 

.....................

 

Okay, Okay, Okay, I wont do anything bad to you all, aslong you get me enough laboratory subjects and torture subjects, in turn I will supply Tamriel everything it needs, but dont push it, there are things that money cant buy.

 

*Walks back to his dungeon*

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Nice igloo Thor but where are the animals? Where's the preprocessed food creatures???

 

DC, that sounds acceptable :eh: You carry on with your experiments and good luck with the new lab :P but you should really only torture people who either ask for it, are voted into it by Tamriel or who have been very very naughty :thinking:

 

Oh and all I ask is a new pie... You can keep the rest of your money for obsurdly foul experiments. Maybe a couple of pies... Or even a pie allowance... A pie a day for ever and ever and ever :eh:

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Dont push it, a pie forever, NO, everybody who wants a pie, will get a pie 60 centimeters x 60 centimeters, if you ate it, wait for tomorow.

 

And Pie Cult followers dont even try to take over Tamriel, or you will be voted into my torture dungeon, the rest is like Vet said.

 

Well the corporation is established, and my porfit is starting build up, I sent a spy to see what the corporations are doing, and.. *Looks at the papers in his hand*

 

HOLY SH*T, I know who dumps the chemicals below the Tamrile bridge, Chem Tech, they've been dumping the chemicals for years into Tamriel territory.

 

*DC calls some one on his phone*

 

~30 minutes later~

 

*Cleanup crews arrive*

 

Okay guys, the ceanup crews will get those chemicals and stock pile the in front of my dungeon, when all the chemial are there we will think what to do with them, but now i have to go.

 

*Teleports to his office*

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If there are any Chelsea or Manchester United supporters lurking in the nest, please visit DC's dungeon where you will be given a free pill in whatever colours your team has been using since it last changed its shirt design about one hour ago.

 

DC, I trust you will have fun experimenting on these guys. I think they deserve it for supporting whatever football team happens to be top instead of their local side :thinking:

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* Walks in carrying a massive 1 meter wide apple crumble *

* Places apple crumble on table and pulls a large pot of cream from his pocket *

* Pours the cream over the crumble *

 

Ahh... home made apple cruble...

 

* Picks up a spoon and stares at it *

 

Hmm.... :thinking:

 

* Throws spoon over his sholder *

* Picks up the apple crumble and eats it all in one go *

 

* BUUURRPP *

 

Ooo.. excuse me.

 

* Suddenly realises that everyone is staring at him *

 

What? :eh: That was my lunch.

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