Kernel Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 How about 800m Legs and Arms relay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 I suggest catching the javelin. Entry is automatic for anybody who is a bit slow with paying their taxes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 What about the 400 mile biathalon, complete with Cliff Racers? Special notice: our judging should only be done by someone of true accountability. Lady Tammy, i'm looking at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 As long as it gets me out of javelin-catching! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 To think that we would ever allow the Highest Lady to catch a javelin is insulting. You get to toss the javelin, if such would please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Sorry, sweetie, didn't mean to insult. That was cute, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 My words must've been misleading, her Highness could not have misunderstood. No insult was taken from her Worship, only from the concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 ..... and Krabjuice has already entered the 24hr Bowing and Scraping ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I think he's a cinch for the gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 As long as it gets me out of javelin-catching! The Royal Family of Tamriel is exempt from paying taxes, as is the Chancellor of the Exchequer/Grand Vizier (me!) Incidentally, we would not consider throwing the javelin at the recalicrant tax payers - instead, we use a ballista, which is effectively a scaled up crossbow on wheels There will also be a high jump, which is to be held perilously close to the cliff to provide much innocent amusement for the audience. Swimming events will be held in either the shark pool or the acid bath. 100 metre sprint, over the tar pits. Anything to avoid unnecessary expenditure on medals to give to the winning athletes. And my favourite: billygoat throwing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matri Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Why not a triathlon? A 100 metre sprint leading to the high jump over a cliff and down to a swimming even in shark-infested waters. And what's better, whoever survives you can burn at the stake on suspicion of using black magic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I'll bring the marshmallows! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I'll go get the fire wood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Mmmmm, does anyone have the secret of fire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Of course. I glare at things until they burst into flames. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 That must mean a big saving in matches, and it gets rid of trick or treaters as well. One question: who is going to be daft enough to enter the Tamriel Olympics? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 When did we decide entrance was voluntary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I'm sure the Imperial Guard would be delighted to arrange for the entry of anybody who has been annoying you How about entering them into the Marathon Fire Walk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I suggest your grace - those who do not wish to enter may listen to AT's poetry, by all accounts worse than a drunken Vogon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Trouble is that there have been several UN treaties banning my poetry on the grounds that it is considered to be cruel and unsusual treatment of prisoners. If I start reciting poetry, we will have half a million 'peacekeepers' turning up to liberate the mineral wealth of Tamriel. Our best line of defence is to have BOTH nuclear weapons and an insane national leader, and we have neither Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I didn't think Tamriel had any oil deposits worth liberating. That's why all our machines run on captured elerium-115. Besides, all we have to do it put up posters saying we support the "War on Terrorism" and those same 'peace keepers' will be working WITH us to help protect Tamriel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Trouble is that we might have to PROVE we support the war on terror by pouring gallons of French wine down the drain (after buying it - what a waste) and giving food stupid names like freedom fries. You just don't want to know what goes into freedom curry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomb Bloke Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 What do you mean no nuclear weapons? I'm running out of room to store them all. Of course, I could always buy another bed to hide them under. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Bed? Bed? How come you get a bed? I'm on straw and even that is the Trolls cast off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 You have straw? I've gotta sleep on sixy thousand poison tipped needles that some nice passer-by tossed at me. Of course, it nearly killed my trying to catch then, but its better then sleeping on the ground. Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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