Check out the new Fic!

[Fox]

Well, my fic is done. Well, not done, but the prologue and first three chapters are done (out of a desired total of 20). Check it out!

 

It isn't too X-Commy at first, and I actually half expected people to be disappointed with the first part. I just wanted to put the part up so people didn't start losing hope in me. I needed these first few chapters to set the stage for what is to come (Cult of Sirius, introduce our main character).

 

I am having a hard time putting the story into HTML format, that's why it's linked to that MSWord file. I think it looks a lot better like that anyways.

 

I'm working on the next series to be put up (Interlude 1, Chapter 4,5, and 6) And 6 should have our first actual combat engagement. The next series should definetely quench your hunger for pure X-COM-like stuff.

 

Please send me some feedback either in PM or E-mail, or even this topic, I'd love to hear it. Negative feedback is actually more appreciated than positive! Naturally, I'd like to see both

 

Thanks guys, I hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it!

[Hobbes]

Well Mulder....oops I mean Fox , nice piece of work you got there although some things were a bit strange. I really liked the atmosphere of the attack on the family, although I never imagined those skinny Sectoids to be able to throw such a punch

There was a number of small details on the terrorist attack that didn't make much sense if you're going for reality. The terrorists weren't really smart for a start: they were just exposing themselves to the snipers posted outside? And why didn't they simply used the hostages as cover when the bullets started flying? Made a lot more sense that running towards another room where they could be picked up at leisure by the commandos. The other thing that also didn't make any sense was how the commandos got into the building. It would take a very skilled pilot to do that had a bit of suicidal tendencies. VTOL craft are very hard to fly, not to mention bringing them that close to a building. And when the helicopter flew over the plane to drop the commandos on its wing, I got surprised how its blades didn't hit the side of the building.

But don't get me wrong: I enjoyed reading it. Just watch out for physical inconsistences or if they exist better to give a good explanation about why they happen

[Fox]

Thank you very much, Hobbes. Some questions:

 

Did you think Fox was like Mulder? I honestly had no intention of copying his character, I was trying to make someone original. In what sense does he remind you of Mulder? Besides the name, Fox Mulder... yes I see that. I only called him Blake Fox because of my screennames and names here.

 

On to the terrorists.. yes I supposed I rushed them a bit. I may need to go back and redo that fight. If you didn't know (you aren't really supposed to yet), that is the Cult of Sirius. I will definetely redo that fight though, I was thinking of taking out the sniper thing altogether, and just having everyone be surprised once the interceptor goes right next to the window. I know VTOL aircraft are hard to operate, but I thought: could this stunt be pulled off, like seriously? And I said yes. X-COM would have the most top pilots in the world working for it, and I think they could handle it. I will most certainly detail that scene more, and explain how the helicopter avoided the building and whatnot.

 

I was trying to be vague about the Cult guys and their plans in the first chapter, but I may have been too vague. I'll post revised Chapters 1,2 and 3 along with the next set. I would love any more comments! Thank you Hobbes!!!

[Hobbes]

Nahh, I was just kidding about the Mulder thing. The name simply popped into my mind as I was reading the text.

 

As for the VTOL assault it's a matter of balance between writing realistically or inventing new things between entertaining the reader. My opinion was that I'd be simply easier if the commandos simply rappelled down from the top of the building until the 69th floor and then took balance and simply crashed into the windows. They need to surprise the aliens an a VTOL like a Harrier flying next to a building will simply put out a lot of noise and warn the terrorists. Not to mention the fact that the pilot would have to keep a tight control to keep the craft estabilised while the commandos landed on its wing: one slight twitch on the handle and *BOOM*. Then are there probably are pilots mad enough to try such a stunt

[Fox]

Yeah... but the idea I was trying to establish here is that the commandos are tight for time. I wanted them to get into the building very quickly while being resourceful. Rapelling into the building would have taken a lot of time. I am working on the revision and I'm sure you'll like the new version of chapter 1 better.

 

Any gripes on 2 or 3?

[The Veteran]

I've read the first two parts of the fic Fox but not the last two chapters. I'm liking it, you have a great writing style and a good story so far. I wouldn't say it's either early or late for the terrorist attack but January 1st is just wierd in my opinion. Make it January 5th or something, it's more normal for it to be an unusual date

 

Only other thing I notice is that the cultists are scarily similar to Mutons. Even when I was half way through chapter one I couldn't help but notice it. They even have their super strength which is pretty inhuman even as far as cultists go! I realise it may be intentional but if you know the game it seems strange!

 

Keep up the good work Fox

[Fox]

Im nearing completion of my next batch of chapters for my fic!

 

::gasps, oohs and ahs::