sir-roosio

I am possibly the most fickle internet user on the face of the earth. I've lost count of the number of forums I have joined to promptly disappear from without trace. I'm not proud of it.

"Captain Roosio, leading from the front" And once again, as it has happened so many times before, it is proven in X-Com, as in life, that the titled gentry make the finest officer material! Daddy was most upset I had to enter as a rank and 'earn' my commission like some common coal miner's son, but it does seem the rank and file find it so much more palatable to their malformed morals that way. Anyway, must dash. Toodle-pip. Sir Roosio MC, DSO, CGC, GC, MBE, TWAT Capt, X-Com

While we're on the subject of biscuits, it would be remiss of me not to direct everyone towards Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down; a website devoted to 'biscuit culture'. It did the rounds in UK TV and press a few years back, but is still an essential website to know of as far as I'm concerned. Is anyone here familiar with the Tim Tam Slam (Which, BTW, can also be performed with Penguins)?

Where I work there is a biscuit heirarchy, and chocolate hob nobs definitley come at the top. They are a substantial crunchy biscuit, not too sweet, beautifally textured, and with a lovely coating of chocolate on top. In terms of in-stomach-mass; 1 Chocolate Hob Nob is equal to 2 of any other biscuit I can think of. some other excellent biscuits that spring to mind include (in no particular order) • Fruit Shorties (moreish, yet ultimatley unsatisfying) • Shortbread (must be 'butter' shortbread, and prefer fingers to 'pettycoat tails') • Happy Faces (amazin biscuit, why do I feel the need to pretend I have kids in order to buy them?) • Choco Liebnitz ( They make me feel cosmopoliatan and trendy, yet also a little bit homosexual) Personally I'm partially in agreement with Full Auto; insofar as the classic biscuits will always be superior to any chocolate covered fancy pants biscuit. And whilst I have been known to polish of a whole bag of Rich Teas in a sitting, I have to say my preference lies with the good ol' plain wholemeal Digestive. Strong flavour, good in-stomach-mass, medium-high dunkability, and not overly sweet. Perfection.

As eggs seem to be the foodstuff of the moment, I feel it would be criminal to not mention an ommlette. A very simple recipie. Take 1 egg (for a snack) or 2 eggs (if your hungry) A splash of milk (around 1/4 of a cup probably, i dont know, i always add 'a splash') A knob of butter optionally you can add chees, pre cooked meat, vegetables, or whatever the hell you want. Whisk (thats stiriing really quickly and violently to get air in the mixture, if you dont have a whisk use a fork) the eggs, milk and butter in a bowl. Heat a small amount of butter in a frying pan on a medium - high heat until the butters melted. Tip the Omlette mixture in on pan Once the omlette is is the pan you can add the meat, veggies or cheese. Cook for around 5-10 minutes, pushing the edge of the omlette away from the pan regualrly. the mixture will gradually start to set as it cooks. When the top side is just starting to set (or if you lift up one side of the omlette and see the underside ios nearly burning) you will need to flip it over. The easiest way to flip it is to lay a plate on top of the pan that is slightly bigger than the pan itself. Invert the pan so the omeltte falls out onto the plate. Then put the pan back on the heat and gently slide the omlette off the plate and back into the pan. Cook on this side untill it starts to brown off. Tip onto a plate, and enjoy!

The nightmare before Christmas. Tim Burton is a genius! "Next time someone asks if your a god. . .Say YES"

Rather like the art of Van Gogh; the films of Uwe Boll will not be appreciated in his own lifetime. Unlike the art of Van Gogh, they won't be appreciated in anyone elses lifetime. If you pushed a cow out of an Aeroplane at 42,000 ft, the methane in it stomach would equalise its body weight in the thinner air and it would float. Unfortunately it would suffocate. Even more unfortunately, the weight of an oxygen tank would upset this balance. At the end of the film ET did not go straight home, he had to stop at the shops for a pint of milk.

Ahh Christmas. The annual family reunion. 100+ of my near to distant relatives in one room, of which I can name but a handful! Chesnuts roasting on an open fire, jack frost nibbling at your toes, unfortunately I moved house this year and no longer have an open fire, but then i dont have any chesnuts either, so all is not lost The most fun you can have at christmas. . . Remind any of your really religious relatives that the 'Angel' on to of the tree is actually a woodland Fairie, which, along with the tree, is originally a symbol of the pagan festival of 'Jul' (Yule). It's always fun to watch them bring the righteousness of faith down to bear on you. Though seriously, im with Ivory. I love Christmas. and though i doubt whteher this year will be quite as good without the log fire, I'm deffo looking forward to it!

Oh the irony!

On the seventh day God created Songs Of Praise, it is still shown on the BBC. The Sound Of Music celebrates it's Fortieth birthday this year. It has been shown on the BBC every Christmas since 1937. During World War II the RAF hid the secret of onboard radar in so called 'nightfighters' by issuing an advertising campaign informing kids that carrots helped you see in the dark. The Luftwaffe actually believed this and always fed their bomber crews extra carrots before night missions.

see this see this, this is me being really smug because I introduced FA to the SkaPara. If you're talking Ska you must mention the Skatalites. A seminal 'Old Skool'(theres no school like the old school) Jamaican Ska band who are still playing today, though no longer recording. It's estimated that they've played around 90% of ALL Jamaican tunes in there time together. However the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra is my personal fave. If you havent heard them they play proper old skool ska cranked up to 130bpm. they are AMAZING and i need to see them live before I die. Recently discovered Robert Johnson, one of the original Delta Blues artists. You could google his name but most of the websites about him try to exagerate his career and end up sounding completely rubbish. all you need to know is this. . . He was the original bluesman to learn to play the guitar by selling his soul to the devil at a crossroads He recorded 42 tracks (of 29 songs) in total (all available on one double CD set, buy it now!) He was poisoned and killed by a barman for flirting with his wife when only aged 27 What more do you need to know?

If i were god I would send my disembodied voice around the world so that everytime someone goes "If god had meant us to fly he would have given us wings" in that sarcastic patronising 'I'm trying to hidde my fear of flying by talking down to you' way my voice would boom. . . "NAY, TIS NOT SO, FOR IF I HAD MEANT FOR YOU NOT TO FLY THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BORN; IMBECILE" that would be a great way to win an argument, call upon the voice of god to agree with you.

The Toyota MR2 was renamed the MR-S for the European Market, as MR2 in French is very similar to "merde" the french word for crap. Apparently left-handedness is a throw back to the period in history where Cro-magnon (early human) and Neanderthals inter-bred. The Neanderthals were all left handed.

Hands up, i walked in on my parents 'at it' when i was a wee nipper, I closed the door and walked out again quietly, they never knew (I think). I would like to believe that despite that trauma; I am a well adjusted member of society. There always are a minority of people in society who experience emotional or behavoural problems. there always has been, there always will be. Whats changed are the catalysts for the extremes of their behaviour. Whilst it used to be religion (believing god was talking to you or sending signs) nowadays it's the world of celebrity (stalkers) and films, computer games, and music that get associated in the media as triggers. Who didnt go to school with a kid with behavoural problems? There was a kid at my school who asked to borrow my coke can when I'd finished it. When he got bored of kicking it round like a football he decided to rip it apart and cut himself with it, then threaten to kick the shit out of me because it was my can and I should have put it in the bin. Should we ban school kids from being exposed to drinks cans? I've always been of the opinion that if a person plays a violent game, then goes out and does it in real life, the problem is not with the game. A balanced and reasoned individual will be able to seperate whats make believe from whats real. My 6 year old niece recently walked into my bedroom whilst i was playing driver 3. If it was GTA, conflict vietnam or something similar i would have switched it off there and then, but as it was driver and i wasn't embroiled in a gun fight i kept it on. Her first words were 'cor, i hope you never drive like that in real life!' In the UK games deemed worthy are given a legal age rating, they should not be sold to kids under that age. GTA SA, for example, was rated 18. the same as a very violent or sexual film. Yet I have seen so many parents buying this game for their child it is unbelievable. I feel like standing behind them every time a saying 'alright you fu**ing c**t!' and if they tell me not to be so rude infront of their kid pointing out the games content. Im starting to ramble now, and sound like im contradicting myself saying one minuter that peeps and my niece can seperate fact and fantasy, then saying I'd switch off GTA if she walked in. But i guess my point is this. As an adult I feel i have the right to spend my lesiure time as wish (obviously within the boundaries of law). If i wish to play computer games that depict violence, sex, crime and low riding then thats my right and i wish to exercise it. However along with my rights i believe i should take certain responibilities. one of them is not to expose people to that content unless i believe they themselves are 'adult' enough to experience them. Hell, there are some films I wouldn't want my girlfriend to watch being the sensitive soul that she is. if kids are getting hold of violent games and playing them we shouldnt ban the games. we should encourage parents to take responibility for their kids actions and keep an eye on the little buggers. A couple of years back there was outcry by a group of parents in this country because so many of their kids were looking at porn on the internet. The rest of the country turned round and said 'take responibility for your kids and keep an eye on them'. Thats it really. sorry it took so long to get there.

Eggs do go off eventually, top tip, place the egg in a bowl of water and if it floats then its no good! Jeez, i cook loads but tend to do it from books and stuff. though one thing i will tell you all is how to make the traditional and tasty Devonshire desert Junket. you wil need. . . Full cream milk, say a pint for the sake of argument (you can do it wiht semi-skimmed, but you only live once) Essence of Rennet Ground nutmeg to decorate. Method Couldnt be easier. Take the pint of milk, heat gently in a saucepan till its lukewarm. Add about a 2 dessert spoons of rennet, and stir untill dissolved. Remove pan from heat. Decant the milk into bowls/a bowl and place in the refrigerator untill set. Once set sprinkle with a little nutmeg and serve with cream (preferably clotted). Its SO tasty! Try it and let me know how you get on.